Degenerate Hearts
by MsVivaVonn
Summary: "I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest. I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips. Maybe I should be more like her." He could never be with her. The problem is she's stuck under his spell.
1. She's Perfect

**A/N: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. That all belongs to the one and only, Stephenie Meyer. I'm a newbie writer so if this is horribly atrocious, that's my excuse. I literally just popped my fic-writing cherry, you guys. Take it easy on me. Oh, and I'm an angst whore, so yah might have to slip on some big girl panties for this. I do not hold back in all things angst. Without further adieu….**

* * *

The insistent pounding at my door has me awake and alert in no time. I'm out of bed and encompassed in my silk, plum robe in just a matter of seconds. My body tingles in anticipation.

I should be feeling a lot of things but desire is not one of them.

Anger?

Yes.

Want and longing?

No.

 _He isn't suppose to be here._

Still, I move to the door even though I know I shouldn't.

I can't bring myself to care that it's 3 am, and he was probably with _her_. That she's left him in pieces once again and that's the only reason he's here. Or that by the end of the tonight, _I_ will be the one left in pieces.

My heart doesn't seem to compute any of this as I reach to unlock the door.

Fervent lips attack mine and I drown in his heady scent.

It's very bad tonight.

I can tell as his rough hand grasps and claws into the hair at the nape of my neck, and as the other yanks down the strap of my dark camisole. But it's even more apparent just how messed up he is when his tongue meets mine and the taste of vodka floods my mouth.

It's going to be hard and fast.

His skin reminds me of porcelain when the moonlight hits it in the darkness of my apartment. Our naked bodies smash together and I wrap my legs around him. He's holding me up against the wall, and his hardness is right where I want it. I'm getting ready for him to finally fill me from the inside when he suddenly stops and lets go. I look deep into his stormy green eyes while his glacier stare lights up my skin. Then his husky voice sets me on fire.

"Get on your knees."

And I don't think. I don't process. I just _do_ when I'm with him.

 _How does she touch you?_

 _Can I try it too?_

I'm on my hands and knees while he pounds into me from behind. I know it's because he can't bare to look into my face while she's fresh on his mind. It's always like this. She suffocates him while he suffocates me. And because I'm hopeless and I think I'm in love, I let it happen.

 _I know you're twisted but baby I'm twisted too._

His release fills inside of me and his moan almost makes me come. _Almost._ He's slips out right before I can. He slaps my ass and then heads to the restroom, while I lay on my stomach waiting. I'm not sure what for because I already know what's going to happen.

Edward finally stumbles out and looks at me briefly before going in search of his clothes. When he enters my room again, he's all disheveled and dressed. Then he clears his throat and attempts to send a smirk my way.

"I'll see you later, Bell."

And because I'm trusting and he completely owns me, I simply nod. He's out the door and gone just as quickly as he appeared. It hits me a moment later that he was still drunk, slurring and stumbling, as he left.


	2. Haerts

***Each chapter title is named after the song that inspires me as I write***

 **This one is Wings by Haerts.**

 **WARNING: If you're iffy about taboo subjects, this might not before you. There's thousands of fics out there, skip out on this one :)**

 **Soooo. I'm going to be honest here. I didn't plan or map out this story, it just came to me one moment when I listened to some song. For that, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm all over the place. I'm free styling this and on top of that, I'm a first-time writer. There is a lot going on between what you saw in the first chap and and now. I'm still not sure how I'm going to structure this, but I'll figure it out. This chapter, I guess is what you could call the first official introduction to Bella and Edward. This is where the real story begins..**

Three years ago

.

.

.

 _Clip. Twirl. Hold. Unclamp. And pull.._

Despite all the times Renee has shown me how to do this shit, I still have yet to master the art of curling my own hair. Getting myself to look even half presentable is a work in progress, but the times when I have to look at least decent, I do put in the effort. Still, my mother is lucky I love her. My bright, red and inflamed ears are paying the price for it right now. I've accidently burnt myself five times in the name of beauty. Just for her. If that ain't love then I don't know what is.

 _Oh, the woes of Bella Swan._

After I've applied my makeup, slipped on my shiny, champagne dress and six-inch death traps, I make my way down stairs. Carlisle and Renee's small but bougie engagement party is being held in our backyard and close family friends are just beginning to arrive. Before proceeding out to the candle-lit venue, I text my best girl, Allie.

 _ **Where r u? I need u here to distract Gramps. Otherwise I'm going to have coronary :( -B**_

I wasn't exaggerating. Grand Pop didn't know when to stop when it came to sharing old "family tales" that involved Higginbotham ancestors, treasure chests and magical heirlooms.

 _ **OMW! And I hope by "distract" you don't mean play your scapegoat :/ -A**_

 _ **Just get over here u hoe. -B**_

 _ **Way to make me feel loved, bitch. BTW is your fuck hawt step bro showing face 2night by any chance? -A**_

I snort and ignore her last text, just cause. I really hope said fuck hot step brother did _not_ show up tonight. That mess was something I really didn't want me, Carlisle or my mom dealing with today.

I finally make my way outside and I'm enveloped in hugs immediately. Aunt Maggie and Uncle Liam are gushing over how much I've grown in the last year.

"Look how tall she's gotten since last May, Liam!" Aunt Maggie puts her hands to her chest to convey her surprise and Uncle Liam laughs. He then says, "I bet this one has the boys wrapped around her finger." I just nod and smile because they pretty much say the same shit every year, though I'm not complaining.

"Ah, there she is. Bella get over here, honey." I turn around and move to sit next to my mom, who's seated next to Carlisle.

"You look absolutely stunning, mom." I smile as I say this because it's true. She's decked in ethereal white and has the warmest glow. It's what I've come to know as Renee's look of love.

"Carlisle, you're handsome tonight as well," I throw in a playful wink.

Carlisle chuckles, "Thanks, Bella. I do try."

My mom did well with Carlisle. He's got a heart of gold and he treats her like a queen. Not to mention, he's a successful surgeon, and well-renowned as one of seattle's finest physicians. Pun intended. Yes, the man is a stud. _Go Renee._

"Dinner's about to start. Where are Alice and Riley?" My mom asks, looking around in concern.

I sigh internally because although she lives with a teenager, she seems to forget that we have no sense of time.

"They're going to be here soon, mom. Like, _right now,"_ I assure her. Renee finally smiles and looks me up and down.

"Oh, Bell. You look gorgeous, baby," Renee tells me, but the way she says this you'd think I'd won the Nobel Peace Prize. I almost roll my eyes because mommy dearest clearly didn't have faith in me being able to beautify myself tonight.

"Bella? Is that my lamb chomp?" My grandfather's voice alerts me and I grin, while standing to hug him. Ridiculous story telling aside, I've really missed this old man. His childhood term of endearment for me reminds me of Nana, which makes me kind of emotional because I miss her too. She passed away when I was nine.

I fill in Gramps on how my summer has been going so far, how I managed to get a job babysitting for the Newtons, and all that jazz. Right as I'm getting into my planned and upcoming camping getaway, Gramps interrupts me.

"Well, if it isn't little Mary Alice." I turn to see the one and only exit the back of our house and walk towards us. Her blue-black hair is in an intricate bun, and the emerald dress she wears fits her like a glove. My childhood best friend looks like a million bucks as usual, with impeccable makeup and not a hair out of place. When she reaches us, she immediately pulls me into a hug then let goes, but not before whispering into my ear-

"You look sexy, but go re-apply some gloss, babe." I scoff, because really? I thought I had it all down.

"Nice to you too, Bitsy Boo," I say sarcastically as I walk towards the same direction Alice came out from, leaving her and Gramps to catch up.

Right before I make it to the bathroom, taut, masculine arms wrap around my waist from behind. Then I feel a warm mouth right below my ear nuzzle into my neck.

"Miss me?" The smooth and familiar voice makes me smile. _I did miss him._

"What took you so long?" I chastise, turning to look into blue eyes and sandy-brown hair.

Riley has a sheepish smile. "I kinda got caught up with the boys. Sorry, babe."

My fake pout transforms into a grin. "Well, it's a good thing you can rock a tux, otherwise I wouldn't let you get off so easy," I tease. He leans down to place a soft kiss on my lips. I move in for another quick peck. Riley is all boy and easy charm, and I'm _so_ into it _._ He manages to make me swoon with how he sweet and attentive he always is. In all honesty, Riley has all the best qualities a seventeen-year old girl like me could ask for in a boyfriend. He's even on the football team. I know, total keeper.

"I'll be out in a minute. Go sit with Allie," I instruct him, then I turn around towards my initial destination. I feel a loud smack on my ass when I walk away, causing me to gasp. I look back at Riley accusingly.

"Yes, ma'am." He smirks mischievously and quickly disappears out to the venue.

As I'm making sure everything is in place, my mind wanders. My life is going to change in a couple months. Mom is marrying her third husband, and while I like my soon-to-be stepfather, I'm not so sure about the baggage coming along with this marriage. I try to remind myself how happy Renee has been in the last year and a half. _Because Carlisle makes her happy_ , and that's all that matters. No other variable outside that relationship could ruin them. I sigh heavily, and then hear my phone buzz inside my clutch. I pull out my iphone while I make my way out into the hall, and towards the backyard.

 _ **What's taking you so long? Get that cute little butt out here. -R**_

I'm looking down at my phone screen, a soft smile on my face, and then suddenly I'm colliding into something hard and tall. I can smell minty cologne and I see black sneakers.

"What the fu..." His voice is low, but it comes out as a snarl. I look into dark green eyes, and I almost shiver right there on the spot. _He's pissed._ Great.

My soon-to be step-brother wears a steady glare on his face, and if looks could kill- I'd be done for. I stare in shock at him. He has angular cheekbones, and flared nostrils along with a sharp, defined jaw that is now clenched in anger. At me. _Shit._

" _Are you blind? Or is it that hard to watch where you're fucking going_?" His words are like a harsh bite to me.

"I- I'm sorry." I say this trying to hold back tears, because I don't handle people being angry at me well at all. In fact, I try to avoid any sort of conflict mainly because of that. I can't remember the last time someone snapped at me like he just did. Even my mother hasn't yelled at me in years.

"Watch where the fuck you walk," he spits out, then proceeds in the same direction I was just headed.

I stay frozen in my spot because... _What. The. Hell?_

My initial fear begins to turn into anger by the second. Unfortunately, this also sucks for me because when I get mad, the waterworks happen. As if on cue, the tears I've been trying to blink back are now leaking down my cheeks. I feel so out control. I wish I wasn't so affected, that I could keep my emotions in check, but I can't.

I knew Edward was unaccepting towards both my mom and I. He never liked us, probably hated us actually, but this was the first time he'd been directly hostile towards me.

 _How dare he?_

We've been nothing but kind to him. Why the fuck was he like this? Did Carlisle's and his mother's divorce really affect him so badly? Whatever it was, he had no right to be this cruel.

"Bell?" Riley appears out of thin air, and I almost jump. He looks right at me.

"Woah, are you ok?" He cradles my face in his hands, and I tilt up to look at him.

Mustering on my most reassuring smile, I tell him, "Yeah, I'm just really overwhelmed. You know how I get when there's a lot going on."

Riley looks like he doesn't believe me.

"You know you can tell me anything right?" My sweet boyfriend arches his eyebrows in concern.

"You know weddings in general make me emotional. My mom is getting married. It was bound to happen, Ri." I laugh it off and snuggle into his chest.

"I'm ok. I promise," I say looking up into his worried baby blues. Riley seems to finally accept this and then he helps me wipe away at any lasting tears on my cheeks.

I take a deep breath and clutch his hand as we head outside. He kisses my temple.

"Thank you," I whisper to him.

 _._

 _._

 _._

The air around the dinner table is so palpably tense, I'm shrinking back into my seat. And it's all because of the cold devil decked out in black and leather sitting across from me.

 _Why did my mom have to seat me right here?_

Even with Alice and Riley laying out jokes next to me, I'm still uncomfortable.

Carlisle and Renee attempted to engage Edward in conversation without success. He answered in sharp, rude responses.

 _What's it to you?_

 _None of your fucking business._

After that last one, Carlisle gave up and wouldn't look twice his son's way. My mom somehow managed to keep a smile plastered on her face.

Dinner conversation fades in and out. I try to keep up with everyone's words, but my body is too high on alert. Edward casually sits back, tapping his fork against the china in front of him. His left ankle is cocked up on his right thigh and his angular chin is pointed up. Every now and then he runs his hand through his copper brown mess of hair. He effortlessly remains unbothered even though he sticks out like a sore thumb here. Arrogance and hostility radiates off of him.

He has to be the absolute embodiment of " _I give no fucks."_

"...so we'll spend a couple days in France and then maybe Spain," my mom gushes excitedly over her and Carlisle's planned European honeymoon.

"It'll be our first time visiting the Riviera together," Carlisle says, as he palms Renee's cheek.

"How fucking cute," the words are unmistakably condescending and we all turn to look in Edward's direction in complete shock.

I feel Riley wrap his arm around my shoulder and for comfort, I lean into him.

"Excuse me, everyone. I'd like a word in private with my son," Carlisle's words barely reign in his anger. He's been pushed to his limit. His fists are clenched as he stands to move around the table and without another word, he walks towards the house. For a moment, I'm reminded of the wrath his son unleashed upon me a mere forty-five minutes ago. Clearly, you'd never want to piss off either of them. I gulp. It's so quiet. You can probably hear a pin drop.

Edward lays back in his chair for a moment and chuckles. He fucking _chuckles._ He looks around at all of us as he does this. Even though he seems to find this amusing, his eyes are burning with rage. The seconds seem to go on forever when his eyes meet mine. He slowly rises from his seat and slips a cigar into his mouth. Walking away, he pulls out a lighter and we all watch as he leaves. It's not until after he's inside that everyone seems to let out a deep breath.

I squeeze my mom's hand.

Riley rubs my back.

Alice makes quiet conversation.

Everything goes back to normal and the guests pretend that the last five minutes never happened.

Carlisle finally comes back to the table. He's alone.

Edward never returns to the party that night.

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End file.
